Rihanna’s Tour Celebrates “Lady Parts”
Close watchers of LemonWade will notice that I’ve gone off Rihanna — way off. The cozying up to Chris Brown was reason enough, but now I’m just exhausted by her vulgarity — her un-fun vulgarity. I never laugh when I watch a Rihanna performance anymore, and I used to. I did chuckle at this write-up of her latest tour: ‘Given that the mega-selling Barbadian pop star spends a large proportion of her leisure time tweeting close-ups of her arse cheeks to her 30 million followers, perhaps we shouldn’t be surprised that her crotch gets top billing here. She strokes it, she thrusts it, she jiggles it, she spanks it and then she strokes it some more. The Diamonds tour is essentially one long celebration of Rihanna’s lady parts. Rumour has it that, at the end of this tour, her vagina will launch a solo career. It would be churlish at this stage not to wish it well.’