The Art Of Lying: Paul Ryan


by Barry Levinson
As the age of insanity rolls along, lying has reached a new level in political activism. Apparently, you can lie freely now. Lying is allowed. On any subject. And there is no shame to the lie. So I decided to talk to Dr. R.H. Flutes, head of the Lying Institute of America, to explain the lying epidemic that has been sweeping this country.

Q: In the past, if you were caught in a lie, you were discredited.

Dr: Yes, that was the old-fashioned way of thinking. Today a creative lie is worthy of celebration.

Q: But a lie is a lie, isn’t it?

Dr: What is so wonderful about the truth? Truth has been around for thousands of years and what has it gotten us? Look at the RNC the other night. Glorious! One lie after another. Did you hear the cheers? Truth is hardly as exciting! And you can’t persuade people as easily with the truth. Truth is a harsh medicine. A good lie is soothing to the soul.

Q: Do you teach these lying principles?

Dr: We do have a six-week course that opens the door to creative lying. But that only scratches the surface. But to get the best techniques, you need the extended course.

Q: What are some of the basic teachings of lying?

Dr: Conviction is very important. You can’t lie in a halfhearted tone. A lie needs strength in voice commitment and body language. Take Paul Ryan’s speech. Brilliant. He lied on almost every subject, but he was committed, elegant. His lies soared. He is a New Age liar. If he keeps his lying edge, he should be a powerful political figure for years to come.

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