Pam Anderson To Play Virgin Mary

No time of year grosses me out with its sheer titanic materialism more than Christmas. In order to get through the holiday season, which is unbearably upon us, I look for signs of Yuletide perversity. My Ur-text is the Christmas scene from John Waters’ masterpiece “Female Trouble.” But, lo, on the horizon like the star guiding the 3 Wise Men, is another potential perverse classic: Former “Baywatch” star Pamela Anderson, famed for nude photo shoots and a homemade adult video with Tommy Lee, is to play mother Mary holding baby Jesus in her arms on Canadian TV this Christmas.

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