Hey, 50, Your Rocking Chair’s Ready!

Last month, rapper 50 Cent said he would retire if his third album, “Curtis,” was outsold by Kanye West‘s “Graduation,” both released last week — on September 11, oddly. “If Kanye West sells more records than 50 Cent on September 11, I’ll no longer write music,” he insisted. “I’ll write music and work with my other artists, but I won’t put out any more solo albums.”

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Well, the official count has been announced: 957,000 CDs for Kanye, 691,000 for his rival. Mr. Cent issued a conciliatory statement about his loss, but said nothing about following through on last month’s promise. However, you’d have to be smokin’ some nasty ganja to believe that he’ll quit puttin’ out the solo stuff.

Mr. Cent has plenty of company on the planet Empty Threat. In 2003, Jay-Z sort of retired, then three years later admitted he was retiring from retirement. But non-stick promises aren’t exclusive to hip-hop stars. Remember when actor Alec Baldwin announced that he’d leave the country if George W. were elected? Last I checked, Baldwin is still part of the cast of “30 Rock,” though the series is shot in New York — which to some folks isn’t America.

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